The winds of change are a-blowin' over at the Kautz house. Somebody (no names mentioned) has decided that our yard, full of lovely perennials, shady hostas, birdies-a-plenty, and a yummy fish-filled pond, is just not good enough for a certain stripey kitty. Nope. The minute his not-so-pink paws hit the patio, homeboy heads for the fence and the new neighbors yard. Ugh.I'm not sure when this started, but Hobbes has had enough of us and our tiny perimeters. Instead of our safe, little yard, he would much rather dig around in 8 foot high weeds and brambles. He sits in Weeds-R-Us rather than nap under the leaves of a hosta garden. He comes home, his tail loaded with burrs and his paws muddied from neglected backyards. Sigh. He's a beer-guzzling bum in an upscale Manhattan lounge when he's at home. There, he's a pig knee-deep in slop.
Immune to gentle name calls and a sweet "Where's the kitty?"--Hobbes has been suddenly rendered deaf to our calls. He will sit, literally 10 feet from us, just on the other side of a rickety fence, completely ignoring the fact that we request his stripey self on our side of the property line. Control is the issue, I guess. Isn't it always about control?
Night after night, we pace the yard, calling for him to come home. We can't just hop over the fence and grab him--there were a few police officers a year or so back, that told us we couldn't cross the property line. Okay, so that weirdo neighbor has since moved, and even though we weren't in Greta Garbo's yard, she was convinced we had nightly parties there and called the police on us--over and over again. So, with that on record over at the Weirdville Police Station, I don't want to give them any credence to their visits in the past--I'm not going anywhere past my fence.
So, there he sits--just out of reach. And there we sit--helpless 10 feet away. I swear that cat is smiling.
Joe met his limit last night, threatening to lock him out. Yeah, like Fred Flintstone, Joe metaphorically put the cat out for the night. And then Em went all nuts with worry, Col hopped the border and grabbed his stripey hiney.
"You're IN!" Joe was yelling. "You are in FOREVER!" he was pointing in Hobbes's face. And then he turned to us, "DO NOT let him out, EVER!" Joe was putting his foot down big time. And we all kinda just looked at Joe like "yeah, whatever" and went to bed.
Morning came and Hobbes started the MeowFest that was his rebellion to the new house arrest. Twenty minutes of loud meowing and Joe shushing was too much for me at that early hour and we had to let him out. But he went out with rules: Hobbes is coming in, like it or not, by 7:30. Before darkness. Before we all yell and call for the knucklehead. Before we are all fighting over whether or not he'll be camping out for the night. We will have our secret weapon, Col the Fence Jumper Extraordinaire, on hand for our heavy artillery.
So, the battle has yet to be started. He lingers in tall grass over in enemy territory as I type, but I'm planning the strategy. I'll start with a few sweet calls, perhaps a shake of the cat treat bag to entice him to the fence, and then.....whammo! Col jumps in and grabs his butt. Sounds good, eh?? Yeah, I just hope he doesn't employ his anti-grab-me shield and foil the whole darn plan.
31 comments:
Oh my gosh...are you sure that your gorgeous-stripey-Ex-Military-Intelligence-cat and my white-with-a-black-spot-right-on-top-of-her-head aren't related somehow?? Your nightly battle sounds like mine, except I have nicer neighbors! :)
Usually, I call and call and if that doesn't work, I break out the canned cat food. If that doesn't work, I start the yelling and hollering. Honestly, I know what you mean about the 7:30 thing; once it gets dark, I know I am in for a battle trying to find her.
Love your blog, by the way! I'm not sure how I found it; I was "doing the drop" with Entrecard, and from there, I have found so many cool blogs, yours included! :)
A. Marie--Well, welcome pally. Welcome to the hell that is my battle with the kitties--as you know, it is a losing battle. Welcome to frog stories and Dork Fests. I'm glad you found me and hope you stay for a chuckle or two--even if they are at my expense!! I'll be over at your place next.
I can't figure out who's funnier and craftier you or him. I've never seen anyone successfully put their foot down with a feline, but I guess it's worth a try. Good luck with the maneuvers. :)
Ah, so. Hobbes has discovered he is a cat.
Best of luck.
--David
That's one handsome little jungle beast you've got there. And he sure is wiley. My cat Spike (the Hotness Monster)is a neighborhood roamer who we believe has dinner with another family at least two nights a week. I think they wrote the song "Poppa was a rolling stone" about him. He always comes home to big mama, and that's what really matters.
But Hobbes is so cute! I see how you can't resist his pleas.
All I can say is "Good Luck." I have had many a cat battle. I am rooting for you, but I have a feeling Hobbes will win in the end.
Petula--Oh, there are two people who can show a cat who's boss--Uncle Jerry and Me. Homeboy is going DOWN!
And yes, he's in--if you were wondering. Score!
Vanilla--Nothing speaks to a cat more than a cat treat bag crinkling. We had a little difficulty, but he's in. Tomorrow may be another story...
DG--Spike sounds like a dream cat. Is he fixed?? Hobbes isn't procreating--just flexing his stripey independence. Ugh.
Violet--That face and the thought of a vet bill kept me out there luring him in last night. I wanted to lock his butt out, I did.
Merry--He's gonna lose big time when we go on vacation. He's gonna have a whole week IN the house. Maybe that will change his current pattern of behavior. Let's hope.
What about the cat door? Is Joe going lock that when decides to ground Hobbes for the night again?
Ah yes, the sporadic moments when a cat lets a human think the control is theirs! My empty-headed feline is currently rooting around in my garden tool bucket. Why? Ask Hobbes; he probably knows.
Meanwhile, Lin, I just tagged you in a game :-) See the details at http://myqualityday.blogspot.com/
Hobbes is playing you all. The minute you think he's learned his lesson, he's going to be right back over there, grinning at you. You may want to put one of those probation anklets on him so that he gets shocked if he gets too far! LOL
We never let our cats out so don't have this problem. Those cats can be so stubborn and so smart. He knows how far to go so you can't get him! LOL Sounds like you have a great yard for him. Any way you could get him on a leash?
Jodi--The cat door is the Achilles tendon--we round Hobbes up, tell him he's in for the night, and inevitably, someone forgets to lock the cat door and he's back out again. Ugh. Yeah, we're dramatic, but not foolproof.
Sharky--You never know what's in that tool bucket, Sharky. It could be a very dangerous mouse or bug or even just a pouf that got in there. He's "saving" you, silly. Yeah, we can't beat the cat. Maybe I should switch to dogs.
Chocolate--Yeah, maybe it will weigh him down and he won't be able to scale the fence!! Our last two kitties had unknown heart problems and couldn't jump up very high--so his jumping the fence is a relief/frustration here for us. Glad he's healthy, but gees, could you NOT drive us crazy??
Karen--I think we're too late for the leash. And we are all too busy to have someone take the kitty out. We are trying to train him to stay in the yard, but as you can see, we are losing the battle. House Arrest isn't going to work because there are too many of us running in and out to try to keep the kitty in.
Hobbes, you are my hero! I am Not Allowed outside, ever. Except in my stroller. Or on my leash.
Ask Hobbes. He'll tell you that big boy kitties are wired that way.
I wish I could let my cats out without a leash. But they're both so skittish, the least little sound causes them to flop around on their leashes like fish outta water.
I would've loved to have seen Calvin's face when Joe was yelling at him. He was probably all, Yeah, right. I do what I want. Get used to it.
Awww, what a sweet looking kitty. Sounds like you've got an adventurous one on your hands. He's enjoying his freedom. LOL! He almost sounds like he's got a personality of a dog. I have two dogs that like to hide on me. Thanks for stopping by Lin.
Funny how one little ball of fur can keep a whole lot of people occupied... :) Good luck with the new rules!
Found you through A. Marie's post. I love this story.
We only let one of our cats outdoors and she used to come in at all hours of the night (she would pound on the screen at the window next to my side of the bed asking me to get up to let her in). Thankfully she is now getting older and comes in at nightfall, even now in the summer. Fortunately we have plenty of land for her to roam on and even if she does go walkabout she doesn't get into trouble. Hopefully Hobbes will learn to behave himself and spare everyone the nightly trauma and drama!
Cats will be the death of their slaves.
Farm cat Fred wouldn't come in last night. The publicist was calling and calling and calling and calling. She finally heard a faint meowing. Was it Fred? uh huh. But where was Fred? Fred was in the front compartment of the trailer which the male person had opened to fix the electrical problem ABOUT 4 HOURS EARLIER.
That will teach Fred to explore open compartments, won't it. Riiiiiight.
So what do your neighbors think of their new pet?
Kitties can not be controlled. They have their own minds and choose to do whatever they want. I am surprised you can ever get him in when you want him.
Tough love is never a bad thing. And our cat has pulled that a few times on us. I'm glad that I found you through A.Marie. And I have 2 teenagers that have become deaf just like your cat!
Hmn...the teenage cat years are tough ones.
What a cute lil' stinker you have there! Great blog too! Nice to meet you :)
You are a funny lady! Thinking you have any control over a cat? Me thinks you are mistaken....
Daisy--You have a very smart owner to not even start letting you go outside! This is nuts, I tell you! I'm so losing this battle.
Chuck--And do you know what he's doing over there?? Eating grass and chasing lightning bugs. Yep. Like we don't have that stuff in our yard. Sheesh.
JD--Hobbes could only hear a Charlie Brown Teacher Voice (waah wah wahh wah wahh waaah wa, Hobbes, wahh waah....) talking at him. Didn't phase him a bit. I wanted to laugh, but Joe was being very serious and I had to do back up. (snicker) And leashes never worked for me as my cats always pull a Houdini and escape outta those things.
Michelle--Hobbes is totally ruling the roost here and I admit I am losing the battle. I think we are all suckers for the pets--dogs or cats!
laala--Hey! Where you been?? Yes, we all look like fools calling and pleading with him to come home. I'm sure the neighbors are watching and cracking up.
Helene--Welcome!! Glad you enjoyed my cat making a fool out of me. Come back and visit again for more adventures of Hobbes vs. The Rest of Us. :)
Split Rock--Oh I love the tapping on the window!! My Grace used to do that too. Ugh. I think they learn after awhile (like 10 years!) that the inside is really the nice safe place to be. I hope he figures that out SOON.
Pricilla--Silly Fred. That's usually what I am afraid of--that he'll get stuck somewhere. Grace disappeared years ago for like 8 days. We called and called. I cried and cried. She came home dirty, dusty, and hungry. I think she was locked in somewhere. I was lucky to get her back.
Bee--Well, that's what I'm worried about. Sometimes neighbors don't think all of this is so humorous. I'm hoping they are nice. I don't really want to have to find out.
Anne--No kidding! How do you teach the cat that it is scary out there at night with strays and dogs and such?? I'm going to try teaching him that it is nice to come home--we all praise him and give him treats when he comes in. Pray it works. :)
SonyaAnn--I'm glad you came here!! Love that new pally, A.Marie!! Cats have that ability to sit 5 feet from you and act like they never hear you calling their name. And you are right--the teens are doing the same thing. I can wave $ and get the kid's attention--so I'm trying cat treats for Hobbes. So far, not much luck. :(
Nancy--Is he in his teens?? Hmmm. Now you've got me wondering. I think he'll be a year old next month--we got him in October. So is this his 'wild' years??
Shop w/Me Mama--Hey! Thanks for stopping by! Stinker is a very good word for him. I had some choice words for him too, but I have to keep this a PG rated blog.
Buggys--It's official--I have control over NOTHING in my life. But don't tell them--it will be our little secret!! ;)
He's totally taunting you. Cats are hilarious like that but it sucks that he goes slightly out of reach to prove his point. I have a two and a half year old that pulls that same crap, whenever I'm busy doing something with Elliot (like changing her diaper or feeding her), Graham does crap since he knows I can't get to him right away. Hobbes and Graham are from the same rebellious cloth.
No chance I would ever let Hobbes out of this house. We used to have cats and they were indoor all the way. Meowing or no, I was not letting them out of my site.
Hmm, I guess I have control issues of my own, eh?
Casey--They just sort of know, don't they?? We used to be goofy when my mom was on the phone. You knew it was over when she said "Excuse me...." to her caller, and then we'd run like hell. Hobbes is like a kid, only furrier.
CG--But you gotta see the yard--it is perfect for a little kitty to enjoy. And until just recently, he stayed in our yard, believe it or not. He will only go out when we are home and we keep an eye out for him. Well, until he jumps the fence. Then we have to peek thru to keep track of him. Wasn't it hard to keep the kitties from running out with the kids coming in and out the door all the time?? That's our main problem.
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