Monday, February 13, 2012

Aisle 3 - Walk of Shame

Sunday brought us to the Home Depot for a new set of stairs for the attic door.  Of course, Joe brought his measurements along with to ensure we purchased the proper stair set.

We stood there for some time, debating whether to get the 22" or the 25" width, Joe's measurement was around 24.73259--or something just as ridiculous.  We discussed, we debated, we talked about how he measured and his confidence in those measurements.  We tried to remember how wide the set of stairs we have are and if these looked like ours.  Of course, Joe balked at my suggestion to ask for help--why would we do that?

With much hesitation and disagreement, Joe put his foot down and bought the 22" set. And we loaded that beast onto a cart to drive it out of the showroom.

As for a typical trip to the home improvement store, I made the suggestion that we peruse the door aisle, the bathroom vanity section, and .......--you know, how those places go.  One thing leads to another and that's when Joe got all snippy and crabby-like.  I wrapped it all up pretty quick by giving him the "look" and lecturing him about getting all snippy and crabby-like.  He even got a whispered "Oh, boy. You are in trouble now" from an older woman who witnessed the scene.

When we finally worked our way to the cash register, we were still debating the size of those stairs.  I said to the cashier "We'll be back in a few minutes to return the damn thing" and she laughed. Joe was not laughing. He was still snippy and all crabby-like.

Of course, you know where this is going.

We got home and Joe hopped out of the car and grabbed his measuring tape.  We both verified the rough opening and silently loaded back into the car. The purchased set of stairs never even made it out of the van and we headed back to the store.

"Uh, you can stay in the car, Lin," he says.  "Yeah/no. I'm going in." I said in return.

We no sooner walked in the door and our cashier busted out laughing. Really. It was an "out loud" laugh--you know, like you imagine me doing. And she wasn't even polite or anything, it was hilarious.  Joe just smiled and said "I know. It's the Walk of Shame."

I just walked behind him, smiling.

And it didn't end there--poor guy got guff from the women at the return counter as well--all egged on by me, of course. Joe was a good sport, encouraged me to push that heavy cart back to the farthest corner of the store for my "victory lap" and we both had a good laugh with the employees of Home Depot.  I'm sure they see it all the time.

Yes, he's got help to install it.  And it's not me--we'd kill each other.

26 comments:

blueyes said...

LOL, that's something I would do too

Melodie said...

How funny! My Hubby's problem with Home Depot is the trips.Yesterday he went 3 times! You would think the man would make a list considering it is better than an hour round trip from where we live! It is always this way! I know if he says he is going to HD he will go all day long,lol!

Diane Cayton-Hakey said...

I don't often offer advice to my Hubby regarding Home Depot purchases, I just let him drive back and forth to the store a few times making returns and exchanges and wonder why men are that way.

vanilla said...

So classic! (Comment by BBBH)

Anne said...

At least he was a good sport about it. If I were you, I would never have been able to just let it go.

Bossy Betty said...

You goofball. I loved this, absolutely loved this. I'd have done that lap with you!

Duni said...

You wouldn't believe how many times we go back and forth to our home improvement store!
Why is it that men believe they know better when it comes to home improvement?!

Pricilla said...

Now that is one thing my hubby does not do. Probably because the Home Depot is an hour and a half away. He is very careful about things like that 'cause he doesn't want to have to drive back and forth again....

Grace said...

My husband and I don't do any kind of projects together - well not any that that require manual dexterity, reading instructions, putting things together, moving furniture, packing boxes etc. Thankfully he is not very handy so aside from changing light bulbs everything is done by professionals. And light bulbs are about the only thing we go to home supply stores for!

Rebecca Mecomber said...

Well you know what they say, "Measure twice, shop once."

Nancy said...

That's too funny Lin!! I HATE trips to HD w/ M. He's the one that all of the sudden is inspired to buy things for 18 thousand projects once we get in and I'm the one that just wants to get the hell out. I've since learned a bit more how to "work him" by being all supportive and calm instead of huffy and impatient and then offering the standard, "Yea...but when do you think you'd get around to it?" That makes him reconsider. The thought that HE will be doing it and that I refuse. Hahah.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I would have been laughing right alongside you too!

Anonymous said...

Best Post! ! Fran's Dad

Daisy said...

Oopsie! Measuring stuff is hard!

Hot Rocks said...

Haaa....poor Joe...sounds like he had a bad day! Made for a funny blog post for us to read about tho!! ;)

Ann said...

OMG I'm cracking up here. That is just too funny. You two are a riot

BeadedTail said...

LOL! After the Monday I just had, I knew you'd be able to make me laugh and you did! That's so funny! My husband and I can't do projects together because of things like this. He tends to get all snippy and crabby-like too!

John Anton said...

I want to kill you after hearing that story!

Catherine said...

Oh Lin - you always see the funny side of life. That's why we love you!
xo Catherine

silverneurotic said...

That actually made me snort with laughter!

Lin said...

blueyes--It's the only way to survive marriage. Really.

Melodie--And that's where this was going too. Except I was forced to go along because it was heavy and he needed help loading it into the car.Unlike him, I was not wanting to make 3 or 4 trips to HD.

Diane--What is with men and those trips? I think they like making a BFD outta the project--plain and simple. It's all for drama.

Vanilla--;) She knows.

Anne--Oh, I didn't. This is the Reader's Digest version. I think I announced my Victory Lap about a cabillion times. All the women there were cracking up. Joe was a good sport though--I'll give him that.

Betty--And do you like me snapping his picture when he was returning it? It's called Salt in the wounds.

Duni--I love Joe because he is willing to try--he just doesn't get it right the first time. And we have to "discuss" it .....a lot. Ugh. Gees, if he would just realize I was right from the start....

Pricilla--And he probably knows what he is doing. ;)

Grace--We are not good on the small projects, but big ones we work well together. We did really good with laying the wood floor in the family room.

Rebecca--Hahaha! I'll tell him that one. :P

Nancy--I'm the one that instigates and pushes for projects to get done, hence the walking through the entire store. That's when he gets really crabby. ;)

Liz--Oh, I was totally obnoxious. And I love that I had support from the gals at Home Depot!

Fran's Dad--You've been there, eh? ;)

Daisy--Yeah, Joe and that ruler have a hard time working together.

Hot Rocks--Yeah, do you like me taking photos on the return trip too?? Hahaha! I don't know why he doesn't find this funny. :P

Ann--I think we were the entertainment at Home Depot yesterday. I'm glad the gals outnumbered the guys there--I think it would have a whole different scene otherwise.

Beaded Tail--What is with men and getting all crabby?? Sheesh. It's almost like they don't want to do these projects or something! Hahaha! I hope tomorrow is a better day, pally.

John--Oh, crap, so do I have to hear about Poor Joe all Friday night???

Lin said...

Catherine--Oh, I did NOT want to have to go back to that store. arrrgghh. He paid for it. Dearly. :)

Silver--I'm training you for married life. Watch and learn, grasshopper.

paul s said...

LOL lol , last month Lin i took a walk on shame [ to home depot ] after buying the wrong toilet seat , it turns out that i have a special toilet that you can only get a replacement by ordering from the company who makes the toilet ,how in the hell did i know ? the stupid toilet came with the house . i feel Joes pain

Lin said...

Paul--You are getting a mulligan on that one, Paul. I mean, how would you know THAT?? Even I wouldn't razz you on that.

Sharkbytes (TM) said...

Too funny! I think it's good that you live with a good sport.

Lin said...

Sharkey--Otherwise known as "Poor Joe". :) He is a good sport--otherwise I would not tease him so!