While I was trying to figure out a way to make her see that those who hurt her aren't her friends (and haven't been for a very long time), I was trying to come up with an analogy for her to understand. I used the river of life example, where friends come and go, and life goes on--but I don't think she got it. Or I didn't explain it right--which is probably the case.
So, later, I was thinking of a better way to explain my theory on friends and I came up with this one:
Friends are sorta like a closet of clothes:
- There are some that fit like a glove. Then there are those you have to work to get yourself into. There are a few in there that are a bit loose and you sort of have to cinch them with a belt to keep them up. Sometimes it's worth the effort, sometimes not.
- There are clothes that you should have gotten rid of years ago, but memories make you hang onto them--remembering the good times you had with them.
- There are seasonal clothes--the ones you only drag out for certain times of the year. In that category are special occasion clothes too--holiday clothes, wedding clothes, party clothes, camping clothes, etc. Sometimes these are the clothes that are tried and true--no matter that you have let them sit in the back of the closet the rest of the year. But some of these are just there because you need them only a few times a year.
- There are old clothes and new clothes. There are clothes with tags still on them, as you haven't quite figured out if you like them or not yet.
- There are warm clothes and cold clothes. There are clothes with holes from wear and tear, but you still like them. Some are comfy and easy to wear, while still others are sort of itchy and scratchy.
- If you are like me, you have some clothes that are missing buttons or they have frayed edges on the sleeves or legs--but you keep those clothes because you love them just the way they are.
- And if you are married, you have to sometimes share that closet--his clothes and your clothes mix and share the space--sometimes crowding each other and wrinkling some things. But it is a give and take, and you just sort of get used to those wrinkles because you realize it isn't something big to fight about.
Just for the record--I don't have a big closet. And the clothes I have are sorted through regularly and I only keep the things I really, really like and wear often.
Why do I think I am just going to confuse the kid even more? Sigh.